Throughout the world  a wedding is a wedding but there are certain traditions in Turkey which vary from those of the Western World.

Henna Day  

Last single days before wedding.  All the female members of the two-soon-to-be-united families gather for a pre-nuptial bash at the bride’s mother’s house.  Once they have inspected the bride’s bottom drawer (bed linen, towels, lace, scarves), they present their own gifts – jewellery… clothing… or maybe just a cash alternative.

The gift-giving over, they celebrate the dancing and, as a symbol of the bride’s happiness, they paint her palms and those of all the other unmarried girls with henna. 

The wedding

As for the actual wedding, this takes place at the groom's house. and if you thought you had a bit of do when you too the plunge, at Turkish weddings they really know how to party!  The proceedings can last to three days, during which traditional rites are combined with plenty of eating, drinking and, of course, more dancing. The wedding ceremony itself takes place on day-Two.  Having been shaved and “groomed”, the husband-to-be is given gifts of money by friends and relatives which are pinned to the front of his jacket.  His immediate family then go to the bride’s house to collect her for the ceremony.  She is transported back to the groom’s house by horse where they both swear their vows in front of a hoca.

Of course, not all Turkish weddings are traditional.  In the cities, modern values have overtaken historic customs, and it is common to have civil wedding, which resembles a registry office in Europe. 

Arranged marriages 

At the opposite extreme, arranged marriages still happen in Turkey.  If a boy likes the look of a girl, he informs his mother.  She then finds out on the grapevine all about the girl’s family background.  If she is satisfied, she informs the family of her son’s intensions.  They then have to do some investigating of their own, making sure that their proposed son-in-law will provide a good future for their daughter.

Once the investigating is over, the two families meet at the girl’s house.  The boy’s family ask, “If God grants, we want  (girl”s name).”  The girl then makes coffee for everyone as instructed by her family.  If the coffee is medium sweet, she's playing hard to get.  If the coffee is sweet, it's a match made in heaven.